


The ABC's of raising a baby

by Darkfairyforever22



Category: Swimming RPF
Genre: Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 14:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3293765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkfairyforever22/pseuds/Darkfairyforever22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>26 drabbles of Michael and Ryan with their child.  It is unbetad so any and all mistakes are my own. Please let me now how you like it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The ABC's of raising a baby

**Announcement**

 

Michael stared at the phone screen in his shaking hand.  No way had they managed it!  He quickly reread the text holding his breath, yup there it was in big bold letters.  He and Ryan were going to be parents!  He quickly forwarded the text to his husband, within thirty minutes his phone was blowing up with messages.  Of course Ryan would post his text on Instagram before he even got the chance to tell his mother.  Oh boy was she going to kill him. Michael picked up his phone when his mother’s picture came up.

“Hey Mom.”

“Oh please tell me this is not a joke.  Am I really going to be a grandmother?”  Debbie’s voice was filled with joy and Michael could tell she was already crying.  He just grinned for a few seconds before realizing his mother couldn’t see his grin.

“Yup!  It stuck this time.  I’m going to be a dad!  This is the best day of my life.”

“Even better then Beijing?” His mother questioned jokingly.

“Oh god yea this beats that by a million!”

 

**Baby**

“Dude that’s our kid!”  Ryan exclaimed his eyes lighting up as he stared at the sonogram machine.  Michael smiled and grabbed Ryan’s hand giving it a tight squeeze. 

“Yes doggy that’s our baby.  It looks like the baby is waving.”

“More like the kid is doing the damn butterfly in there.”  Molly their surrogate commented from where she was laying.  Ryan’s eye lit up even more at those words.

“Do you think the kid will be a swimmer?” 

“Our kid can do whatever they want.  They don’t have to swim.”  Michael commented wiping the tear that had started to form.  He took Molly’s hand and squeezed it.  “Thank you so much for doing this for us Molly we seriously can’t thank you enough.  You have given us the greatest gift ever.”

Molly snorted as she cleaned the goo off her stomach while the doctor and Ryan discussed which images to print off.  “I’m glad to help you guys.  So have you guys thought of names?”

“Yes if it’s a girl her name will be Kate and if it’s a boy his name will be James.”

“Those are great what about middle names?”

“Ryan is still deciding on middle names.”  Michael rolled his eyes as he thought about what crazy names Ryan would come up.  Molly laughed and shook her head.

“Uh-oh, this kid is in for some hell if Ryan gets to pick the middle name.”

“Hey I heard that!”  Ryan piped up from the doorway.

 

**Crib**

“God damn it! I give the fuck up!  Please tell me why we didn’t just let the delivery guys put this mother fucker together!”  Ryan shouted from the nursery.  Michael stood in the doorway and smirked at his husband who was sitting in the middle of the floor surrounded by crib parts.  He stepped into the room and saw the tool Ryan was using to try and put the crib together.  He held back a laugh.

“Um, doggy you’re using the wrong tool first of all. Also I distinctly recall someone saying they wanted to put the crib together on their own.”

Ryan looked at Michael confused then held the screw driver up in the air. “Mike this is not the wrong tool!  Yea I did want to put it together myself but fuck it I’ve been trying for over a fucking hour it’s exhausting!”

Michael took the tool out of Ryan’s hand and dug into the tool bag for the right drill bit.  He changed the bits and handed the tool back to Ryan. “Here ya go babe. Also maybe the directions might help.”  He pushed the directions towards Ryan.

“I’m a man I don’t read or use directions seriously MP.  What kind of man are you?  It’s like in our DNA not to use those things.”

“Yes but this is our kid we are talking about.  Their bed can’t fall apart the moment we put them in it like ours did Ry.  That’s bad parenting 101, the faster you put the crib together the faster you get to me blowing you by the pool.”  Michael commented wiggling his eyebrows at Ryan before he walked out of the room.  Ryan watched Michael walk away, he glanced down at the direction booklet and pieces all around him.

“Fuck it I will hire someone to do it tomorrow.”  Ryan muttered before throwing everything down and chasing Michael out to the pool,

 

**Dolphin**

Taking Ryan’s nephews to the aquarium was a terrible idea. It was so hard to juggle all of them once they reached the gift shop. The worst Lochte boy to control was Ryan.  He wanted to buy everything in sight that the boys loved.  Michael sighed after he told Ryan no for what seemed like the millionth time.  There was no way he was getting a six foot shark for their house. The dogs would destroy it, Ryan tried to reason that it was for the nursery.  Michael pointed out that it would probably terrify an infant, Ryan decided then to pout all around the store until Michael gave in and let him pick two small things for the nursery.  Ryan could only decide on a stuffed turtle so Michael picked up a dolphin and held it out for Ryan to examine.

“Dude that’s like perfect since your part dolphin.”

 

**Examine**

Finally they could relax and breathe a little.  The first trimester was finally over with.   Michael was lying in bed smiling as he scrolled through sonogram pictures he had on his phone.  Ryan scooted closer to Michael and grinned up at him.

“Dude, I’m so happy we are having a baby.”

“Well technically Molly is having the baby.  I’m pretty sure we don’t have any female parts.” Michael joked.

“Well yea but can I ask you something Mike?”

“Of course Ry, what is it?”

“Are you worried about being a bad parent?”

Michael paused and put his phone on the charger as he mulled the question over in his head.  “Well yea I’m worried I mean my dad walked out on me so I’m worried I will do the same thing.  I’m terrified I won’t be a good dad.  I’m worried you will be the fun happy go lucky parent and I will always have to play the bad cop with our child.  Are you worried?”

Ryan bit his lower lip and nodded tears threatening to fall out of his eyes.  “I am so dumb, like what if our kid is a damn genius?  I can barely remember to set an alarm for important meetings.  How the fuck am I supposed to help a kid with homework if they are in honors classes or shit what if they skip grades?”

Michael pulled Ryan into his lap and rocked the both of them while he kissed Ryan’s curls that were growing back in. “Oh babe, you are so smart!  You got went to college and got a degree I didn’t even get a degree.  If our kid is a damn genius then we hire someone to tutor them.  We support and love our kid no matter what happens.”

Ryan wiped his eyes and turned to Michael and kissed him hard.  “Thank you babe I needed to hear that. By the way if you walk out, I will drag your ass back to us no matter what.  I promise to help you be the bad cop sometimes, we are in this together forever.”  Ryan whispered the last few words against Michael’s lips just like he had when they had gotten married.

**Fun**

Ryan promised the family reunion in the New York would be fun.  Michael wasn’t having fun at all.  It was freezing cold and he was stuck sitting in the corner peeling his label off his beer bottle. He didn’t know half of Ryan’s huge family and they scared him.  Sure he knew Ryan’s siblings and his parents but all this extended family was foreign to him.  He even heard a ton of Spanish which he of course didn’t fucking know.  Deliah ran up to Mike and hopped into his lap.   
“Are you having fun Uncle Mike? You look sorta sad.”

“I’m fine baby girl, thank you for worrying about me.”  Michael hugged Ryan’s niece close to his chest as he scanned the room for a glimpse of Ryan’s curly hair.

“He’s over with poppa.”  Deliah commented as she laid back against Michael’s chest and played with his wedding ring.

Michael smiled when he spotted Ryan talking with his hands flying everywhere a huge grin on his face.  He could tell Ryan was having a blast being surrounded by family he hadn’t seen in forever.

**Girl**

The world was cruel at times, like seriously fucking cruel.  They were having a little girl, the two men who were seen as womanizers in their younger years were having a little girl. Michael turned and looked at Ryan who had passed out right in the doctor’s office when they were told they were having a little girl. 

“You ok ry?”

Ryan looked up from his place at the table and stared at Michael.  “We are having a girl dude.  Shit we are so fucked!  You realize that right?  We don’t know the first damn thing about having a girl.”

“We talked about this when we decided on a surrogate Ry.  We knew we could get one of two sexes.  Do you not want to do this anymore? I can totally swing it alone if you don’t want this anymore but, I’m not giving it up.” Michael whispered not looking at Ryan choosing instead to look at the sonogram of their little girl.

Ryan let out a sigh,” I still want this I’m just scared that’s all.  I mean what are we supposed to do with a girl?”

“Love her just like we would if it was a boy.  She’s still our kid.”

“Ok well I guess we are going to have a Kate join our family.”

Michael looked up grinning,” What about a middle name?  Have you picked one yet cause you get to pick it remember?”

“Kate Anne Lochte-Phelps.”

Michael thanked his lucky stars Ryan didn’t want to use a stripper type name.  “That’s beautiful Ryan.”

 

**Headbands**

Having a girl came with totally a different rule book then having a boy.  Ryan and Michael’s mothers had insisted that the boys have a baby shower expect Michael and Ryan reused to call it that.  They had decided to call it a becoming parents shower instead.  Everyone had brought presents and diapers.  Ryan loved opening all the different outfits, and blankets from family and friends.  Every outfit it seemed came with a headband.  Michael started losing track of what headband went with what outfit after the fifth outfit in a row came with a headband. 

“Good god people how many headbands does an infant need?  She won’t even have that much hair!”  Michael commented as he put another outfit in the laundry basket his mother had decorated with Kate’s name and nursery colors.

“Dude don’t diss our little one before she is even here.  She might have a shit load of hair!”  Ryan chirped up from his spot next to Michael as he laid another blanket in the growing pile of things to be washed before Kate arrived.

**Instagram**

“So like who gets the first picture of Kate?”  Ryan asked one night during dinner.

“Huh?  I mean I’m sure we are both going to be taking pictures of her.  Heck our families will probably take a crap load as well.”  Michael commented as he shooed the dogs away from his seat.

“No I mean who is going to post the first pictures of her?  Like which one of us posts her picture on their social media first?  Or do we do a photo shoot with a major magazine?” Ryan looked up from his phone expecting an answer right then.

Michael shrugged,” I mean I think as parents we should post them on our social media not a photo shoot.  We want to be as normal as possible remember?  If you want to post them on yours first that’s fine.  I can post them to mine later but why are you worried about that?”

Ryan just grinned,” Dude our kid is totally going to break Instagram.”

Michael barked out laughter at his husband’s statement.  “Yea she probably will.”

 

**Joy**

Sharing coffee in the silence of the early morning with Ryan was something Michael was going to miss if he didn’t get to keep doing it once Kate came.  It was the little things in life Michael took joy in now.  He could care less if he ever swam again.  He was content with where his life was headed.  He couldn’t wait for his daughter to get here but at the same time he could.  He was taking his time enjoying the little things and loving Ryan extra before their little bundle of joy came.

 

**Kate**

She came into the world screaming her lungs out.  Her face all red and angry at being out of her comfort.  Ryan was snapping picture after picture of her forgetting the flash was on.  Michael was vaguely aware a nurse was talking to him to sign some papers but he just couldn’t look away.  She was perfect.  Seven pounds two ounces twenty inches long of perfection. 

**Love**

Michael thought he knew what love was when he married Ryan but god he had no idea.  He thought his life was complete and fully and then Kate came into his life and just in the few short hours she had been on this earth everything Michael thought he knew about love and life were shattered.  He didn’t know a damn thing.

“I love you so much little one you have no idea.  I thought I had everything but what I didn’t realize until you were born was that I had a lot but god I didn’t know a thing about love at first sight.” 

“Oh really?  I thought I was your love at first sight.  However looking at Kate I know exactly what you mean.”  Ryan piped up walking into the hospital suite they had rented.

Michael looked up and captured Ryan’s lips in a kiss.  He pressed his forehead against Ryan’s snuggling Kate to his chest.  “I love you two so fucking much.”

“I love you too Mike, thank you for doing this with me.”

**Mother**

Seeing your mother with your child for the first time really makes you think what they must have been like with you as a baby.  Michael smiles at his mother cooing over Kate, he knows he doesn’t need to stand and watch them but he can’t help it.  Ever since they brought Kate home he hates to not be able to be in her eyesight.  His mother and Ryan’s mother have been the greatest help since Kate was brought home.

“Stop staring at us. She is perfectly fine with her nana now go do your work for your foundation before I take this baby out of the house forcing you to work.”  His mother piped up from the rocker in the corner of the room.  Michael laughs and heads into his study.

**Nap**

Nap time is the worst time of the day in their household.  Kate refuses to be on a schedule no matter what they do.  She hates to be held, hates to be rocked, hates to even be looked at it seems to Michael one afternoon when she is still screaming her head off.  He has tried everything.

“Mike just lay her down.  She will be fine.”  Ryan says from the doorway rubbing his eyes.  He had gotten in extremely early this morning after traveling home all night, He was exhausted and was trying to sleep. 

“I can’t do that!  Something is seriously wrong, we need to take her to the hospital Ry.”

Ryan crosses into the room and takes Kate from Michael.  He offers her the bottle he just fixed, when she refuses it he checks her diaper and finds it dry so, he lays her in her crib and leads Michael out of the room.  Kate’s screams get louder it seems so Ryan cracks the door after making sure he has a baby monitor.

“Ryan we can’t just leave her screaming!”  Michael looks panicked as Ryan leads him down the hall to their bedroom.

“Mike sometimes babies need to cry it out.  She is tired and doesn’t want to sleep.  She doesn’t have a fever, her diaper is clean, and she refused the bottle I tried to give her.  We have the monitor she is laying down.  She will cry herself to sleep it is ok for her to do that.”  Ryan pulls Michael underneath the covers with him.

**Oops**

“Oops.”  Ryan and Michael hear from Kate’s room.  They exchange looks and take off running up the stairs.  When they reach Kate’s room they find their three year old, who was supposed to napping, butt naked in her toy box all her toys spilled out on the floor coloring on the wall. 

“Kate Anne Lochte-Phelps!  What are you doing?”  Ryan exclaims as he carefully steps into the room to avoid hurting his bare feet.  Kate looks up grinning at Ryan her hands filled with crayons.

“I’m making art daddy!  Look how purtty!”

Michael can’t help but pull out his phone and take pictures laughing as he does so.

Ryan scoops Kate up in his arms. “Yes princess art is pretty but not on your wall baby.  Also why in the earth are you not wearing clothes?”

Kate just shrugged and giggled at her daddy. “I like being nakey!”  Kate squirmed out of Ryan’s arms and took off running down the hall the dogs chasing after her.  Ryan burst out laughing and shook his head at Michael.

**Parent**

“She seems to be very well behaved.”  Whitney commented at one family dinner.  Michael smiled at his daughter who was playing her cousins and Ryan.

“She is pretty well behaved minus the whole always wanting to be naked.  She seriously always is trying to take her clothes off.”

“Oh that’s just a phase dear.  All young kids go through it.  I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”  Debbie Phelps commented as she cut up freshly cooked pie.

“If you say so.  It worries us for when she has to go to preschool.”

“Welcome to being a parent baby.  Worrying never stops even after they are grown and have flown the nest.”

**Quiz**

The forms felt like a quiz of all of Kate’s life.  What shots has she had, when did she get them, who gave them? Has she ever had chicken pox, what does she like, and what doesn’t she like?  Michael’s head felt like it was spinning.  He turned to Ryan who was filling out half the forms his face looking just as confused.

“Is this like a quiz about our own kid?  Cause I swear I’m totally failing it dude.”  Ryan mumbles to Michael.

Michael just laughs because yea he is totally failing it too.

**Root**

“Go daddy!  Swim like you want it!”  Kate screamed from Michael’s lap as they cheered Ryan on in Rio.  Michael grinned hearing his almost five year old yell at Ryan as if he could hear her.  He hugged his daughter close to his chest as the board displayed the results.  Ryan won gold again, Michael was super proud.  He glanced at his daughter and fixed her American bow and her Lochte-nation shirt that matched his own.  He was proud to be rooting for his husband.

**Swear**

“Fuck!” 

Michael slammed on the brakes and quickly whipped his head around to the back seat where his five year old was sitting.

“Kate Anne what did you just say?”

“I said fuck dad.” Kate repeated the swear word like it was no big deal. Michael had to steady his breathing before he responded.

“Kate that is a very bad word you should never ever say it.  If you say it again I will wash your mouth out with soap do you understand me?”

“Yes dad, I’m sorry.” 

When they got home Michael settled Kate down with a movie and went to search for Ryan.  He found Ryan in his studio drawing new designs for his fashion line.

“We have a huge problem!”

Ryan looked up from his drawing and pushed his glasses up his nose. “What’s wrong is Kate ok?”

“She’s fine she just said the f word in the car on the way home.” Michael sighed as he laid down on the floor. 

Ryan burst out laughing clutching his side and wiping tears away “I’m sorry but dude it’s funny as hell when kids cuss.”

Michael glared at Ryan until Ryan stopped laughing. “It’s not funny!  Our kid could get kicked out of daycare because she swears!  Also it’s not lady like.” 

“Your right I’m sorry but you handled it right?  Like we both know if she did it in front of me I would have cracked up laughing.”  Ryan responded seriously.  Michael nodded and stood up.

“Yea, I told her if she ever did it again I would wash her mouth out with soap so you better stick to that!”

**Teacher**

Michael didn’t think he could hate this teacher more if he tried.  She sent their daughter home crying one day after she told Kate her drawing of her family with two dads was wrong.  Ryan had tried everything he could to get their daughter moved out of the class but it didn’t happen so here they were sitting in chairs made for little six year olds and facing off with this terrible woman.  It was times like this when Michael wished his mom still worked for the school board.  He could get this horrible cow fired. 

“Why did you tell my daughter her family was wrong?  There is nothing wrong with parents loving their child.  Even if they are a same sex couple.  You do know who I am right?”  Michael inwardly cringed as he used the famous card but he didn’t care.  He didn’t want this bitch teaching his precious little girl anything. 

“I did no such thing, I just implied she forgot her mother and then she informed me she doesn’t have one.  That is what I called wrong.  Being famous gets you nothing here at our academy Mr. Phelps.”  The teacher stated as she stared them down.

Michael stood up and waited for Ryan to stand as well he grabbed Ryan’s waist and glared the teacher.

“We will just see about that.”  He replied coldly and led Ryan out of the classroom.

**Under**

“I want my daughter moved into a different classroom immediately or all the funding that we supply this school with every year will be pulled immediately and we will sue your asses under the table!” Michael stated as soon as the principal shut is door.  The principal mentioned for Ryan and Michael to sit next to a fairly young woman.  They sat and looked at the man expectedly.

“So, I have been hearing all week.  Mr. Phelps, Mr. Lochte I would like you to meet Ms. King she is our other kindergarten teacher.  Our classes are extremely full this year but she is willing to take Kate into her class on a few conditions.”

“Conditions such as?”  Ryan questioned the young brunette sitting next to him.  She smiled and extended her had to both the men.

“Well first of all I would like to just explain to you how I work my classroom.  My students are very well rounded and I don’t tolerate any sort of bullying in any form.  I require that my students study their colors, shapes, and numbers every night.  I require a parent to sign off on a weekly sheet and my students work on a math goal every week, which I also require parents to sign off on.  If you are alright with that then I would love to have Kate in my class for the remainder of the year.”

Michael grinned and nodded.  “Absolutely we agree Ms. King you sound perfect for our daughter.”

 

**Vouch**

“Ms. King is the bestest teacher ever!  She is so pretty and smart!  Did you know her favorite book is Dr. Seuss?”  Kate exclaimed the moment she ran out to Ryan after school.

“Oh is she now? I’m glad you like her baby.  What did you learn today?”  Ryan asked buckling Kate into her booster seat.  As Kate chattered on Ryan pulled away from the school and hopped on the interstate to start driving home. He listened and muttered in the right places for Kate to keep talking.  He was glad that Kate loved her teacher it showed that Mike and himself were doing something right a parents.

 

**Wreck**

Everything happened so quickly, Ryan was going along in his lane when an 18 wheeler spun out of control and slammed into his car.  He heard Kate’s screams and felt the bones crack in his own leg.  He kept going in and out of consciousness as the paramedics showed up and had to use the Jaws of Life to get himself and Kate out of the car.  He kept trying to ask the paramedics how Kate was or where Kate was but no words would come out.  Michael got the call just as he as doing an appearance for a local boys and girls club.  Lucky for him he got a police escort to the hospital so he got there a few minutes after paramedics arrived.

“Where are my husband and daughter?”  Michael blurted out as soon as he got to the desk.  He fumbled in his pocket for his wallet.

“Your daughter has been taken back for xrays and so has your husband.  You may see them once they are settled into a room.  We will keep you updated please take a seat sir.”  A nurse told him as nicely as she could.  Michael sat down and shoved his head in his hands tears streaming down his face.  He didn’t believe in god but he started to pray.  He hoped that someone was listening, he knew Ryan was catholic and believed in god and he took Kate to church so, Michael highly doubted a god would let both of them die.  They had to be fine.  He could deal with broken bones but they had to be alive.

**Xray**

Ryan laid on the xray table trying not to move.  He knew his leg was broken he could see that if the splint wasn’t holding it, that it would be bent all strange.  He tried to keep his breathing even, tried to remember what the doctors name so he could ask about Kate.  He really hoped someone had called Michael and that he was here. 

“Oh yea that puppy’s broken.  Some broken toes too, mostly shattered foot bones.  How is the child looking?”  Ryan heard the xray technician comment. He held his breathe and hoped they would say something about his daughter.

“Oh she’s perfectly fine just a ton of bruising.  Not a thing is broken, the car seat is destroyed but damn it did a great job of protecting her.”

Ryan let out a relieved sigh and thanked god for protecting his little girl.  It would totally suck to have a broken foot but thank god his daughter was ok.

**Youth**

Ryan laid back on the sofa watching his daughter run around the living room.  He smiled and wished he had half the energy Kate had.  They were finally home after six hours at the hospital getting themselves checked out. Ryan had a bright blue cast on his leg and had it propped up on pillows as Michael fluttered around getting everything comfortable for Ryan.  Ryan reached out and grabbed Michel’s wrist.

“Hey sit down babe.  I’m fine and clearly our jumping bean of youth is fine so come relax.” 

Michael sat down and took Ryan’s head in his lap and started to run his fingers through Ryan’s hair.  “We have to use my car and the booster seat in my car for a while.” 

“Oh yea?”  Ryan questioned his eyes closed.

“Yup, your car is wrecked!  Her booster seat that was in your car is beyond repair.  They can’t even scrap your car for parts it’s that messed up.  It got stuck between a barrier wall and an 18 wheeler.  You seriously have someone looking out for you two upstairs because doctors don’t know how you two survived.  They said you should be dead.”

Ryan smiled slightly. “I’m glad she’s ok and I’m ok because I’m Ryan duh MP.”

 

**Zoo**

Once Ryan was in a walking boot the whole family made a trip to the zoo.  It wasn’t without Ryan tensing up every time they got near an 18 wheeler.  Kate enjoyed it so much that Michael was glad they decided to wait until she was older to appreciate it.  She was truly enjoying all the animals and was even reading some of the same words on the signs.  Michael grinned at Ryan and shifted Kate on his shoulders. 

“I love you Ryan.”

“I love you too Michael.”


End file.
